Happy New Year: there’s something about 35….

Photo Courtesy of Joey DelPalazzo, Church Street Studios, Philadelphia, PA

Leading up to it….

I can’t remember a time in my life when I’ve felt more like myself…not in high school (which was all about fun), not in college (which was all about preparing for a future that I hadn’t fully thought through), and not in my initial foray into life as a working professional (which was all about competition, status, and proving something to my family and friends).

I was busy, but I wasn’t making progress with my life. I was working full-time in local government, cultivating a makeup artist hobby, making extra money as a promotional model, and like most of my friends, I was complaining about something everyday. I was also doing all the things that I was supposed to do: I was buying a house, going to church, trying to figure out how to be more appealing to a man, and wondering why my life wasn’t exciting. I was wondering why I felt stuck in a routine that wasn’t making me particularly happy: I had bought life’s wolf-tickets.

I began to realize two things. First, the life I’d worked so hard to obtain wasn’t really the life I wanted. Second, just because I was doing all the things that I thought I was supposed to do, I wasn’t guaranteed a particular outcome.

I bought the house because my friends were buying houses. I was looking for a husband (while trying to seem cavalier about it) under every rock because everybody, particularly the church people, kept telling me that taking care of a man and birthing a baby would make me happy because it was what God had called woman to do (…and I thought sex would make me feel like I was living in a state of constant euphoria). I kept a job that really wasn’t working for me because it made my family proud.

As I did all the perfunctory things, it never occurred to me that I wouldn’t have guaranteed outcomes. I mean, I really approached life with this idea that I would insert certain things (effort, accepting student loans, perseverance, etc) and would undoubtedly get certain things out. I would get an education, be competent, and the drama of work-life wouldn’t come my way because difficulty at work only came to people who weren’t that smart, who didn’t perform, and who had done something stupid to cause their problems. I would learn to cook because I was supposed to do it and enjoy it because, after all, I am a girl. I would volunteer because it would make me compassionate. I wouldn’t have sex because I was worried about AIDS, single motherhood, and a man who would treat me as a used rag afterwards. Life was supposed to flow. If I did all of these things, I would get the great husband, progress up the work ladder, become wealthy, and be content with something like knitting.

What was I thinking?!?! Actually, I think I was thinking what all of my friends were thinking all the while learning, “this ain’t it!” I had chosen goals and benchmarks that weren’t mine. I was focused on achievements that didn’t have enough personal value to bring me satisfaction. I was filling prescriptions meant for other people. I was a project manager for somebody else’s life!

BUT! Thankfully! Whew! I have substantiated many of my empty aspirations. Indeed, I have come a long way. Perhaps, I am a late bloomer, but, at least, I’m starting to get it. Undoubtedly, if I had wed or become a mother, my self-discovery journey would be different, but such is not my lot. I have figured out the key to my confident self which is not to avoid myself. I have learned to confront me. I have learned to ask me prodding questions. I wrestle with my personal truths. Indeed, introspection is the best thing I have yet to discover.

Thus, as I ski toward 35, I am finally okay with not having the life of my adolescent dreams. I’m grateful that I’ve learned what the fight is all about. As you grow, you realize what’s important to you and you fight for that! You learn what’s important to the people you hold dear and you help them fight for their stuff. You don’t fight for the things that don’t really mean anything to you: why go to war over meaningless spoils? And when you see how complicated and busy life can be, you will abandon those things that aren’t intimate to you like buying a house because your friends are doing it or keeping a job you hate because your family would be proud or just because it’s the way you pay bills. You get tired of performing for the people watching the movie of your life once you realize you’re acting out a story line that you didn’t write, fulfilling a role intended for another actress. You fight for your best life because it frees you up to be strong, constant, and happy to receive goodness and hope in this life. I refuse to live my life thinking that the only happiness is in heaven or will occur once I’ve paid my debt of insertions to qualify for particular outcomes owed to me.

Without a doubt, I like drinking red wine nearly every night even if my saved friends give me the side-eye for it. I know that every strong or pointed opinion doesn’t make me judgmental.  I love my tiny apartment, even if some people think a grown woman should be doing better. I work really hard to figure out how to grow Blush & Brushes and the divisions I’ve envisioned for it even if some people don’t embrace the idea of aesthetic beauty. I love complaining about my sore body after working out because I want attention. I like how I’ve learned that every argument isn’t a breakup as such adds depth to life. I like what I envision my old self to be…I can’t wait to be THAT 95-year-old (I keep journals so that the young people in my life can read about me to me!). I like thinking about how to be a better teacher and how to inspire.

I love my life! And, I desperately, want you to love yours!

 

Natural vs Organic

(Written by Kathleen Neves for Skin Deep Magazine, November/December 2011 issue.)

Now, more than ever, clients are questioning what is being put into the skincare products they use.  With terms such as natural and organic being thrown around the industry, it’s important to know not only what these terms mean, but how they affect the way the product is labeled, the way the ingredients are listed on the packaging, an the overall effectiveness of the products.

Terms Defined
What exactly does it mean when a products is labeled natural or organic?  How do you explain the difference to a client?

In the broadest sense, a natural product is something that originated from a plant or animal source, and an organic product is natural product that was grown without the use artificial fertilizers, herbicides, or pesticides.  Many ingredients used in beauty, makeup, and skin care products are already derived from plant sources.  But exact definitions vary.  Ruth Winter, in her book A Consumer’s Diction of Cosmetic Ingredients (Three Rivers Press, 2009), defines a natural product as one that is extracted directly from plant or animal products, as opposed to being produced synthetically.  Others say a plant extract created artificially in the laboratory also counts as natural, since it is plant-based and chemically identical to the traditionally harvested plant.

In the world of skin care, the biggest difference between products labeled natural and organic is the amount of regulation imposed by the government.  The US government does not regulate natural skin care products, which means anything can be labeled or described as natural, regardless of what it contains or how it was produced.  Organic products, however, are heavily regulated by the government.

Organic Isn’t Easy
The US Department of Agriculture (USDA) sets strict regulations for organic products:  how ingredients must be grown and processed; where the word organic can appear on the product label; and how the label may be presented on the actual product.  Growers must adhere to a special system of farming that maintains and replenishes the soil fertility without the use of toxic materials such as pesticides or fertilizers.  Third-party certifiers appointed by the USA enforce these regulations with annual inspections of organic farms and processing facilities.

The National Organic Program (NOP) is a government agency that works with the USDA to help regulate the use of organic ingredients in skin care products, and to make sure that these types of products are correctly labeled.  There are four labeling categories for certified products:

100 percent organic;
Organic:
Made with organic ingredients; and
Less than 70 percent organic ingredients.

Products in any of these four categories can legally use the word organic, but different conditions apply to each.  If a company uses the word incorrectly, outside of these regulations and the USDA certification program, the NOP can impose an $11,000 fine on the brand for each incorrectly labeled product.

100 Percent Organic
In this category are products that have been certified by the government as containing 100 percent organic ingredients.  The product is permitted to display the USDA Organic label on the front of the packaging.

Organic
The government certifies that products in this category contain at least 95 percent organic ingredients.  They are also permitted to bear the USDA Organic label on the front of their packaging.

Made with Organic Ingredients
Only 70 percent of ingredients need to be organic for a product to b certified in this category.  These products cannot use the USDA Organic label, but are allowed to have descriptive text on the product label to say it is made with organic ingredients.

Less than 70 percent organic ingredients
These products cannot use the USDA Organic label, and the only place where the word organic can be used on the product’s packaging is in the ingredient list on the back of the product.

What’s Natural?
The main reason why the federal government doesn’t regulate natural skin care products is because there is no formal definition of what natural means within the beauty industry.  Different brands may use the word in completely different ways.  This creates confusion and frustration for the consumer.  How can a government agency possibly regulate something if the product manufacturers themselves can’t clearly define what it is that needs to be regulated?

The Natural Products Association (NPA) is one organization attempting to establish a definition, along with fair, useful rules and regulations for products and ingredients within the beauty industry.  The NPA is a nonprofit that serves as an industry watchdog on regulatory and legislative issues, and works to clear up consumer confusion about natural products.

In May 2008, the NPA, along with brands such as Burt’s Bees, JR Watkins, and Yes To Carrots, created the natural Standard for Personal Care Products.  This voluntary standard is the closest thing the beauty industry has to a formal definition of natural.  It consists of the following four components.

Natural.
At least 95% of the ingredients in the product must be all-natural.  The NPA defines natural ingredients as those formulated without any artificial ingredients,, and minimally processed.

Safety.
The products must be completely void of any ingredients deemed harmful to human health by the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

Responsibility .
The product cannot have been used in any sort of animal testing.

Sustainability.
The product, its ingredients, and its packaging must be environmentally friendly.  Ingredients should be biodegradable, if possible.  The product’s packaging should be made up of recycled materials, or at least be easy for the consumer to recycle.

To be considered natural by the NPA, a product must meet all four components, and its manufacturer must disclose all ingredient information, fully and accurately.  A product that has met all of these requirements can use the NPA Natural Seal on its label.

The NPA Natural Seal is the closest equivalent for natural products to the USDA Organic label for organic products.  The main difference is that the NPA Natural Seal is a voluntary standard that is neither required, nor endorsed, by the federal government.

 

Promiscous: California Red Table Wine

This wine combines Zinfandel, Merlot, Cabernet, Sauvignon, and Petit Sirah.  Not a bad wine at all; however, it is a tad sweet.  Although I don’t like very dry wine, this wine is just a wee bit too sweet for me.  Those of you who really enjoy Moscato may enjoy it more than you do most reds!  Meanwhile, I have half a bottle left…no sense in throwing it out!  :).

Mind you, I purchased this wine at the new Wegman’s Liquor Store on Route 70 in Cherry Hill.  The store had a decent selection of items and was particularly convenient since I was in the shopping center already; however, it is not a replacement for Total Wine!  Total Wine is a much larger store and focuses on, well, wine!