Advice to a Young Wife from an Old Mistress

Written by Michael Drury (woman), this book is interesting to say the least.  First things, first, I was particularly tickled by the fact that this book was initially copy written in 1965. Second, I’ve often made several of the author’s points to my friends; thus, it was refreshing to hear an opinion that echoed mine.  Finally, and perhaps, most importantly, I dig the author’s points; however, i do not recommend becoming a mistress (aka side piece) to test out these theories…or for any other purpose.  LOL

She makes the following points that I agree with:
#1)  The western idea of two becoming one is flawed.  Instead, learn how to accept each other and negotiate.

#2)  Don’t lose yourself in your functions, i.e., the things you do to facilitate your marriage.

#3)  Mistresses have a distinct advantage over wives in that there is no definition for a good mistress to adhere to whereas wives often get lost in trying to be what they think they are supposed to be.  By trying to fulfill roles married couples have less of an opportunity to define their roles for themselves.

#4)  Sex is and is not love in much the same way that money is and is not wealth.

#5)  (Her opinion) Women marry the type of men they would be if they were male.
Finally, I bought this book in a used bookstore for $5.  I looked it up on Amazon, and it sells for $60…..  and if I had bought an original edition, I could sell it on Amazon for $1,600!

 

Nutrition for Dummies…

I’m seriously reading this book…among other things.  I try to pay particular attention to what I eat because my family history is not so great with respect to good health.   Ironically and conversely, members of my family tend to be in one of two camps:  you live a long life with a sharp decline at the very end or you die slowly and painfully at a relatively young age.  For example, my grandmother died of a massive heart attack at 57, whereas my great-aunt lived to be 96 and died relatively quickly after developing a spinal tumor that came along with Lou Gehrig’s Disease-like symptoms. 

Here’s the kicker, the ones who didn’t get to finish their bucket list tended to have poor diets and carried more than a just a few extra pounds.  Thus, I work at maintaining my weight, but seek ways to enjoy food.  I’m a southern belle and food is pleasure, among other things; thus, it is sacrilegious to even consider starving myself.  There is, indeed, a difference between enjoying and indulging.  I simply choose to indulge less frequently than I would like.  To this end, I make menu planning, trying new things, and portion control a priority. 

I challenge you to make taking care of the one and only body you’ll have a top priority, but make it fun.  Adopt habits and rituals that make you feel like you.  I regularly drink wine because the actual wine glass sitting on the counter as I cook makes me feel like a diva.  I have a piece of dark chocolate every night because it satisfies my insatiable sweet tooth.  I have several cook books, and I try to make something from one of them weekly.

 

Wine & EAT, PRAY LOVE

I just finished reading EAT, PRAY, LOVE by Elizabeth Gilbert….

But before getting to the book, I compared two wines: Vallon De Sources Vacqueyras and Vin De Pays D’OC Pinot Noir. These two wines were very similar; however, I preferred the Pinot Noir. In color, they were both burgundy, but the Pinot was a deeper burgundy whereas the Vacqueyras was somewhat lighter in color. It was also lighter in flavor meaning it lacked a full taste. It was watered down. The Vacqueyras, in addition to being less flavorful, it also has a slightly higher alcohol content which meant that it had a slight bite to it. So, I got a bite, but not much to savor. Simply put, the Pinot was a smoother drink.

Now, on to the book…
EAT, PRAY, LOVE is a great book and quite fitting for my personal life (lately, I’ve been thinking about how to live a happier, simpler life). As I read the book, I wondered how people with fewer resources find themselves after a major life catastrophe…not everybody can take off for a year! Or at least not literally, and I think this is part of the point: whatever your station in life, you have to seek peace and fulfillment. I felt like a soulful kindred sister to Ms. Gilbert. Indeed, certain elements of pain are common to being human. I envied her ability to roam the world so freely and make friends. Sometimes, I can be a bit lost in my own thoughts and mind. It would be wonderful to so easily connect with others. Overall, I was quite happy about getting to know the author and appreciated her transparency! For example, there is no way in the world that I’d put in print for the world to see that I had repeatedly “touched” myself…LOL!.

 

Leisure…

Reading EAT, PRAY, LOVE by Elizabeth Gilbert.  Almost done.  Can’t wait to blog about it!

Tomorrow, will be be at the Philadephia Public Library for lecture of poet/activist Sonia Sanchez.